I Am Free to Walk Away

I overheard a conversation today at Starbucks.

I battled between naming this affirmation

I Am Free to Walk Away or

I Am Free to Speak Up

I only heard bits and pieces but follow me here.

There was a group of 7 people sitting together enjoying coffee, laughter and sweet treats. There were 5 men and 2 females. The two women were sitting beside each other with men on either side of them. The first thing that drew me into the conversation was one of the gentlemen saying:

"Just say it."

It wasn't what he said that caught my attention, it was his aggression. The frustration and irritability. I heard the height in his voice and the shift in his body language. I saw the young lady attempt to turn her body away from him, yet he continued to egg her on. I couldn't hear her statements as clearly as I could his, but I knew this was a silent but heated argument.

She was speaking but I could not hear what she was saying.

He followed with a question, something to the effect of:

"I don't know why you can't tell me what you mean"

It got quiet and she explained herself once again. I couldn't hear her but I could tell by her facial expression and hand motions that she was serious. Her friend didn't say much but when she was talking, her friend shook her head in agreement. She talked for an extended time and then she stopped. Herself, the man she was talking with and the other woman at the table all picked up their phones and ceased conversation. The other gentlemen never took notice of what was happening, instead they continued to have their own conversation.

She sat there for a while and then politely she got up and began to leave. Unfortunately, he yelled toward the door as she walked away.

In the most sarcastic tone possible:

"Sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable."

It made me cringe. There is no "apology" qorse than an apology with a bit of sarcasm in it. I was so proud of this woman that I did not know standing up for herself and walking away from a situation that felt uncomfortable.

The men at the other end of the table who were oblivious to what had incurred immediately asked "what did you say to her". He smirked "nothing, she just didn't want to explain why she didn't agree with me". Then one of his friends said, "you didn't need to apologize for that". He responded with "sometimes it's just easier that way". They chuckled, shrugged and went right back to their conversation.

What I thought was confirmed with his statement: he was not apologizing because he felt any sympathy for their lack of agreement. Instead, it was an apology to just breeze over the situation. I felt it when he yelled that unempathetic apology as she walked out of the door.

If you made it to this spot in this blog, you're probably thinking I am judgmental and should have minded my own business. I get that but I am a people reader, and I am learning to grow from other people's experiences and that young lady inspired me.

Whether she was right wrong does not matter. What he meant when he said whatever it was that he said doesn't matter. What matters is that you (whether male or female) know that you have the ability to respectfully walk always from conversations that do not serve, uplift or encourage you. We should be able to have challenging conversations and disagreements with others without feeling patronized, egged on or belittled and if the conversations makes you feel uncomfortable you can kindly excuse yourself. Please be encouraged today to protect and listen to yourself.

Today's Affirmation: You are Free to Walk Away!