Why Self-Love is essential.

With Valentines Day tomorrow I wanted to use my blog to step into a discussion about love. We started with Gods Love yesterday as I think it's a foundational concept for any version of love to stand on.

I decided I would break love down into 3 parts:

1. God's Love

2. Self-Love

3. Romantic Love

We talk about Romantic Love all the time . However, I think acknowledging Gods Love & then building Self Love is necessary if we're ever going to experience the Romantic Love that we all long for.

What is Self-Love?

Oxford defines Self Love as:

"regard for one's own well-being and happiness"

Seemlingly this would be expected of each of us. We would all operate in some form of Self Love. Why wouldn't I have regard for my own wellbeing? Well, let's consider people pleasing, addictions, abuse, abandonment, rejection. Experience with these life traumas can realign your gaze outward instead of inward.

If I am consistently people pleasing, I may consider someone else's needs over my own. If I have been abandoned in the past and I haven't dealt with that hurt, I may find myself accepting things that aren't good my for well-being or happiness to avoid being left or abandoned again. Let's also consider my personal inner voice... if I ignore that voice long enough I am disregarding what is true to me to maintain whatever external narrative that I convinced myself I need to uphold.

Lack of Self-Love can manifest in so many different areas and we must take the time to assess how it is showing up for us.

Many times it looks honorable to ignore one's own needs for the needs of others. This is a beautiful and noble thing but that behavior on a long term basis can have negative affects on one's self image, self care and self love.

According to Bare Well Group (link below)

7 steps to loving yourself include:

• Step 1: Stop being so mean! ...

• Step 2: Take care of yourself. ...

• Step 3: Prioritize what's important. ...

• Step 4: Spend time with people who fill your cup. ...

• Step 5: Change how you think. ...

• Step 6: Notice the good things. ...

• Step 7: Understand that this takes time.

https://www.barewellgroup.com/blog/how-to-love-yourself

I had to take a long hard look at myself and realize I wasn't operating in love for myself. I was operating on performance. I was only celebrating myself when I accomplished milestones or goals I wanted to achieve. I had to stop and work on loving me right here where I am at (still working on this).

I want to encourage you to sit and take assessment of your own personal love for you. Take a long hard look in the mirror and journal what thoughts come to mind. Are you speaking kindly to yourself? Are you as patient with yourself as you are with other people? You are the only you you'll get... do whatever you can to love yourself more deeply!