How to Honor and Remember Your Mother on Mother's Day After Her Passing.

I was thinking of all the ways Mother's Day could be difficult and the first place I landed was the loss of a mother. I began with my heart postured toward my mom. As a woman who has lost her father I empathize with anyone missing their mother on Mother's Day. My Granny passed away in December of 2011 and my family lost our backbone in that year. Granny was a friend to everyone. She never knew a stranger and once she knew you she loved you! My mother is one of five and I hold them dear to my heart this week and this weekend because the void of losing a mother is never filled. Watching the rest of the world celebrate their mothers can feel like insult to injury. Instead, I want to encourage you to pay homage to your mother this week.

Whether it was your birth mother or someone who was "like a mother" it doesn't make it any less painful. There are women we've learned to accept as foundational guidance to our lives and once they're gone they are irreplaceable. Mothers are there from your first breath; therefore, it feels impossible to continue on without the one who has been there your ENTIRE life. Mentors, grandmothers and aunts (etc.) who were "like mothers" are just a difficult to live without. My grandmother lived with us for years, therefore, I consider her "like a mother" to me. I grieved her just as painful as I grieved my father because she was a foundational person in my life. I also lost my God mother last year; therefore, I will think of her very deeply this week as well. I believe the same can be said for someone who isn't a "blood relative" but was "like a mother" to you.

I love this definition of "Mother" because it goes well beyond birth:

So, what do we do from here? We have accepted that the loss of our mothers makes Mother's Day very hard, but what now? Now I think the best step forward is to grieve and then we celebrate.

It is no help pretending that this isn't hard. Give yourself time to grieve. Cry it out. Write it out. Scream it out. Pray it out. (& when I say pray I mean be totally frank and honest with God, he can handle it.) We give ourselves so much grief when we attempt to force ourselves to "accept" what it much more deeply layered than that. Instead, allow yourself the space to feel the weight, the pain and the difficulty of the loss of a mother.

Next, celebrate (if you feel like it-you may not want to and that is okay as well)! Once you've processed the pain you may now want to celebrate the memories. Think of the laughter, the pain and the lessons of your upbringing or mentorship with you mother/mother-figure. What funny sayings did she have? What lessons did she walk you through? What inside jokes did you share? What things did she like? Is there a food you can eat to celebrate her this week? Is there a drink you can make to think of her?

There are many ways to honor a lost mother/mother-figure . May you be inspired to find ways to celebrate yours this week!

Happy Mother's Day