The Harmful Myth: Why telling kids being bullied is a sign of being liked needs to stop.

Did you know, our core beliefs are formed within the first nine years of life? We closely observe our parents, caregivers, teachers, and society to shape our understanding of how we should treat others and how others should treat us.

So, what message are we sending to a little girl (or boy) when they are pushed on the playground and we say, "it's because they like you"? Children don't hurt each other because they like each other ... children hurt each other because they're children learning how to navigate friendships, classmates and school! While a little boy's nervousness around a girl might cause him to behave irrationally, we should guide him to speak to her kindly and teach her to expect respectful treatment.

Before you attempt to cancel me and throw tomatoes hear me out...

Lets say little Sarah was pushed by little Johnny on the playground. Little Sarah ran home to tell her mom and her mom told her "it's because he likes you" and then her mom smiled at her in confirmation of the behavior. What Sarah learns in that moment is that when a boy likes her, he will hurt her and this is good. The very reason we run to tell our parent is because we know it is wrong but their acceptance teaches children to accept and even look for this behavior.

Now, lets try this another way. Lets say little Sarah was pushed by little Johnny on the playground. Little Sarah ran home to tell her mom and her mom told her "oh no, I am sorry that happened to you. Boys should not hurt girls" and then her mom comforted her from being hurt. What Sarah learns in this moment is that boys should not hurt girls. She ran to her mother and her mother affirmed for her that it was not right.

So, shortly after this incident when Little Sarah starts to have childhood crushes and teenage boyfriends she would no longer accept the little boy who picked on her, embarrassed her, pushed her or pulled my hair. Instead, Little Sarah is able to know that Love Does Not Hurt.

I would gather this is why the Bible outlines love so well for us.

God knew it would be complicated...

Now where in this definition of love do I find love that hurts ...

So, the next time you experience love, as yourself …

Does this hurt? Can this be affirmed by 1 Corinthians? How am I defining love?